Many couples feel nervous before their first session. Will the therapist take sides? Will it make things worse? Will we just argue in front of a stranger? Knowing what to expect can make it easier to begin.
A neutral space for both of you
My role isn't to decide who is right. It's to help both of you feel heard, and to slow conversations down enough that you can understand what's really going on between you. I trained in couples therapy at Tavistock Relationships, and I stay alongside both of you throughout.
What we talk about
Couples come with all kinds of things: arguments that go round in circles, the aftermath of an affair, anger, a loss of intimacy, or big decisions about the future. We look at the specific moments that are hard, and at the patterns underneath them.
What changes
Over time, couples often find they can raise difficult subjects without it turning into a fight, listen without becoming defensive, and recognise each other's hurt as well as their own. For some, therapy helps the relationship recover. For others, it helps them separate with more understanding and respect.
Do we both have to want to come?
It helps if you both come willing to try, even if one of you is more hesitant. It's very common for one partner to be the one who makes the first call.
Read more about couples therapy, or get in touch to talk it through.
