Starting Therapy in Oxford: Your First Sessions in Jericho
What happens when you get in touch, how to find the practice on Polstead Road, and what your first few sessions will be like.
Reaching out to a therapist for the first time can take courage. Knowing a little about what happens next can make that first step easier, so here is how it works when you come to see me in Oxford.
Making contact
You can call, text or WhatsApp me on 07786 488 766, or send an email. You don't need to have the right words. A sentence or two about what's on your mind is enough, and we'll find a time to meet.
Finding the practice
I see clients at St Margaret's Institute, 30 Polstead Road, in the quiet residential streets of Jericho, North Oxford. Look for the stone archway and the blue front door. There is free on-street parking nearby on Polstead Road, Chalfont Road and St Margaret's Road.
The first meeting
Our first session is a chance to talk about what has brought you, what you'd like to be different, and to ask anything you want about therapy. It's also a chance to see how it feels to sit with me. There's no commitment to carry on.
Settling into regular sessions
If we decide to work together, we'll usually meet weekly for 50 minutes, at a regular time. That steady rhythm matters: it gives you somewhere reliable to bring whatever the week has stirred up. If you can't always get to Jericho, sessions can also take place online.
What if I don't know what to say?
Many people worry about this. In practice, there's no right way to start. You might begin with something that happened that week, a feeling you can't shake, or simply a sense that something isn't right. We'll take it from there, at your pace.
You can read more about individual therapy in Oxford, or get in touch to arrange a first session.
Adult ADHD and the Inner Critic
Many adults with ADHD carry years of self-criticism. How therapy can help you understand your mind and treat yourself more kindly.
Many adults with ADHD come to therapy carrying more than the practical difficulties. They carry years of being told they were lazy, careless or "too much", and over time they have started saying it to themselves.
Where the inner critic comes from
If you've spent years missing deadlines, losing things or struggling to finish what you start, it's easy to conclude that something is wrong with you as a person. That conclusion often becomes a harsh inner voice, and the shame it brings can make everything harder.
Diagnosis, medication and therapy
A diagnosis, whether recent or long ago, can bring relief, grief, anger, or all three. Medication helps many people, but it doesn't undo years of self-criticism or show you how to live with a mind that works differently. I don't diagnose ADHD or advise on medication, but therapy can work alongside whatever you and your doctor decide.
What therapy can help with
Understanding how your mind works, without judgement
Softening the inner critic
Overwhelm, procrastination and burnout
The strain ADHD can put on work, study and relationships
Working in a way that suits you
Sessions can be shaped around what helps you focus. I've worked with adults with ADHD for 15 years, and I often use my Heart and Mind model to help clients step out of a racing mind and into a steadier sense of themselves.
Read more about therapy for adults with ADHD, or get in touch if this sounds familiar.
Feeling Stuck? When It Might Be Time for Therapy
You don't need to be in crisis to start therapy. Some quieter signs that it might be time to talk to someone.
People often wait a long time before starting therapy. They tell themselves it isn't bad enough, that others have it worse, or that they should be able to sort it out alone. Yet many of the people I see aren't in crisis at all. They simply feel stuck.
Quieter signs
You're going through the motions but don't feel like yourself
The same patterns keep repeating in your relationships
You feel flat, tired or low much of the time
A loss or change still weighs heavily on you
Your inner critic is louder than it used to be
What therapy offers
Therapy is a regular, protected space that belongs only to you. Without judgement, we look at what's happening now and how your history might be shaping it. Over time, that understanding can open up new choices.
Short or longer term
Some people come for a handful of sessions to think one thing through. Others choose longer, deeper work. We decide together what suits you, and keep reviewing it as we go.
Taking the first step
If you've been wondering whether therapy might help, that wondering is often reason enough to find out. A first session is a chance to explore it, with no commitment to continue. You can read more about individual therapy here.
Studying in Oxford: When the Pressure Starts to Build
Short, intense terms and high expectations can take their toll. Signs a student might need support, and how therapy and coaching can help.
Oxford is an extraordinary place to study, but it can also be a very intense one. Terms are short and packed, the workload can feel relentless, and many students arrive having always been the high achiever, only to find themselves surrounded by people who seem to manage effortlessly.
The pressure behind the scenes
Over the years I have worked with many students in Oxford. What they bring is often hidden from friends and tutors: the essay that won't get written, dread before tutorials, the fear of being found out, nights spent going over the same worries. Some are also dealing with homesickness, relationships, money or questions about identity.
Signs it might help to talk
You feel constantly behind, however much you work
You avoid work you care about, then feel ashamed
Your sleep, eating or drinking has changed
You've lost interest in things you used to enjoy
You feel you have to hide how you're really doing
Therapy, coaching, or both
Some students want practical help: planning a dissertation, getting unstuck on a piece of work, or thinking about life after university. Others need space to understand the anxiety or self-criticism underneath. Often it's a mix of the two, and I can work in both ways.
Keeping going in the vacation
Because terms are short, support can easily stop just as it's starting to help. Sessions can continue online during the vacations, wherever you are, so the work doesn't have to pause.
Read more about therapy and coaching for students, or get in touch if something here sounds familiar.
Why Won't My Mind Switch Off? Understanding Anxiety
Racing thoughts, constant worry and a body that never relaxes. What anxiety is doing, and how therapy can help you find some calm.
"I just can't switch off." It's one of the things I hear most often. Thoughts race at night, the same worries loop round, and the body stays on alert even when there's nothing obviously wrong.
What anxiety is trying to do
Anxiety is the mind trying to protect you. It scans for danger and rehearses what might go wrong, hoping to keep you safe. The trouble is that it can't tell the difference between a real threat and an email you haven't answered, so it keeps sounding the alarm.
How it shows up
A racing or looping mind
Tension, a tight chest or a churning stomach
Trouble falling or staying asleep
Avoiding situations that feel risky
Irritability, or feeling constantly on edge
Getting out of your head and into your body
Trying to think your way out of anxiety often feeds it. In my Heart and Mind model, we work the other way round. By coming back to the body, to the breath, a hand on the heart and belly, and putting into words what you actually feel, the nervous system has a chance to settle. From there, it becomes easier to notice the anxious mind without being run by it.
Understanding where it comes from
Therapy also gives us space to look at where your anxiety began and what it might be holding. Patterns learned early in life often make more sense once we can see them clearly, and that understanding can loosen their grip.
If anxiety is taking up more of your life than you'd like, individual therapy can help.
What Actually Happens in Couples Therapy?
Nervous about couples therapy? What sessions look like, what a therapist does and doesn't do, and how couples begin to move forward.
Many couples feel nervous before their first session. Will the therapist take sides? Will it make things worse? Will we just argue in front of a stranger? Knowing what to expect can make it easier to begin.
A neutral space for both of you
My role isn't to decide who is right. It's to help both of you feel heard, and to slow conversations down enough that you can understand what's really going on between you. I trained in couples therapy at Tavistock Relationships, and I stay alongside both of you throughout.
What we talk about
Couples come with all kinds of things: arguments that go round in circles, the aftermath of an affair, anger, a loss of intimacy, or big decisions about the future. We look at the specific moments that are hard, and at the patterns underneath them.
What changes
Over time, couples often find they can raise difficult subjects without it turning into a fight, listen without becoming defensive, and recognise each other's hurt as well as their own. For some, therapy helps the relationship recover. For others, it helps them separate with more understanding and respect.
Do we both have to want to come?
It helps if you both come willing to try, even if one of you is more hesitant. It's very common for one partner to be the one who makes the first call.
Read more about couples therapy, or get in touch to talk it through.